The lasting gift of lasting pain ... - strength

Challenging few months gone passed but this new year has taught me what to accept in my life and what to say no to,firmly & stand by the courage of my convictions 

My skin is healing well & has gone back to its almost normal self apart from sudden rushes of heat & feeling the hot days, but no complaints there 

My eyes on the other hand seem to be stuck at the same point making slow progress but still in need of constant attention .. 

It requires care, that is always on my mind and now slowly becoming second nature to me . It may require me to travel overseas for some special treatement that could be available for this condition. Meeting a doctor by chance that was able to give me this information & encouragement itself was a great miracle for me. 

Pain teaches us so much, especially when it's chronic. When it's a constant sensation of glass or an object in your eye just cutting at the edges, it's severely dry what do you do? Try to find temporary relief to eliviate the pain . I use drops every 10-15 minutes use hot and cold compression to help with weather changes and always conscious of infections as, if I get one I have a high risk of losing my sight as I have no tears or the means to fight them ..

using my own blood that was also turned into serum tears is another great miracle and medical marvel in itself .

It's about being constantly aware of this sensation and fighting it to get some comfort ..

Just like fighting the hurt and painful situations that occur in your life just to find some comfort & your inner balance .it's not easy but you have to in order to keep moving

As a member of the sjs group I also hear what others are going through and it gets very disheartened and sad. Most often we can be surrounded by this .. People going through illnesses and tough times in our lives . it hits me like it has affected one of my own as this is my SJS family now ..As much as i would like to help them & be thier strength ..it's most often what I am here for I feel..and why I went through this as one of the better reasons..

when external issues and challenges are thrown in the way, people misunderstand intentions or would add negativity to the journey, or i may have added negativity to someone else's journey .. I am learning to wish well & take that space to breathe easy. Not letting it affect the recovery process and living out the rest of what's given to me .. I often pray if I have done something wrong send the kindest thoughts to those that send negative energy,  pray & divert my attention, care and love to the many that need it from me. I choose to remove myself from the situation .. All I can do is give from the depths and goodness in my heart, without holding back and hope it is received well. if not then, that is my lesson to transfer the attention , elsewhere .. Taking deep breaths is highly recommended I hear and I have used it myself, as this helps you take in some good energy & remain aware of your breathing. 

Techniques to learn to control your thoughts and feelings is key I've learnt in this new year. Also praying about all the things that bother you and offering it to the God and faith you believe in .. 

It's about learning what you can deal with at any given point in your life & you learn what you can take and let everything else that doesn't sit right with you , doesn't agree with your soul let drift pass you without a moment hesitation not letting it affect your place in this world.. It's a difficult practice to do but it's worthwhile to try .

When I visited back home this year the number of people I met that felt happy to see me in good health really took me by surprise . I knew all these amazing people had prayed and thought of me but I didn't realise the extent or depth to thier words and emotions.. Being with them and around them felt so beautiful ....it helped me forget the rest of my worries for awhile and stay in that embrace .

We all have a sense of care and love around us, somedays are harder to see them than others but don't doubt your wholeness and how important your journey is to the people that care about you . 

Thanks for prompting me to write again, my family and friends , I had let my experiences slip and let the bad get the better of me on some days .. 

Also very grateful for the opportunities of the story of sjs being featured in a magazine and a major online news source, the quest to create awareness was alive & am very appreciative for it 

Learning to take in the good around you and block out the negativity is a process, and I am learning, always am...But well and soon enough I hope .. It's like the eyes that constantly bother us ( those with sjs would know or for that matter any chronic condition) you learn to live with a certain amount of pain and discomfort it becomes part and parcel of your life, you get stronger, & far more tolerant to pain but no more weaker or any less wiser for it..

you become a survivor ..not a victim of any of the situations you have been through ..it helps you learn your boundaries,  what you can tolerate, what energy you give out to the rest of your circle and learning to say no to the things that don't serve to bring you happiness or peace. 

Also another thing that a very beautiful lady I have had the pleasure of meeting as a result of all of this,  said to me :she is an organ donor but now understands the importance of opting her eyes for donation 

It's something I signed up for ages ago & have not hesitated or looked back on and depending on your beliefs on it, opt to donate too  if you can, it can keep a life going... 

I hope to keep writing as I learn . My fondest love, prayer and wishes