She was always looking for the magic & the miracles because it reminded her that living was a beautiful thing indeed #sclourie...

Healing.. it comes in many forms.... in the form of finding happiness, in the form of things falling into place, through things changing or through things existing, exactly how they are meant to be ....

Mine has come in many forms too.. Timing is definitely one of them... 
 

Growth, because of pain is another..

During a few days I had off, I reflected much on the beauty that surrounded me... walking out into the sunshine, not having to shut my eyes in an instant due to pain or discomfort, my skin feeling the warmth so much and actually not having a strong burning sensation,or having to cover up & avoid the sun as much.... sounds, colour and merely breathing, all felt so special to me...

almost 20 months on... from a great turn in my life... I can see that change has worked out, for nothing but the best...

It has given me the ability to not give up, the capacity to renew my faith and the urge to yearn for my happiness... The willingness to take measures & boundaries for inner peace ..

Happiness is not a thing, but a state of mind you learn to achieve..

Timing has played an integral part in my life in the past few months and how my faith has guided me...

A few months ago, I was preparing to leave to Boston in the U.S in search of a contact lens that could help with my eye condition. It is a contact lens that is much more longer term, permanent, bigger in size and also a whole lot more expensive.. when I was given this option.. I explored the avenue and for some reason or another something kept halting it... either the person I was corresponding with at the hospital didn't get back in time.. or the information I got was not sufficient that I had to keep asking questions..... many people offered up help, got me in touch with their friends and family over in Boston and my trip was almost about to be finalised.. when I had to visit the doctor yet again, for one of the many check ups.. and he advised me about an option available in Australia... that sounded very similar...

I was meant to head to the U.S mid may to find some relief for my eyes....

These words from the doctor kept nagging me, to explore this option, so off I went to look this up and in search of an optometrist that may provide this lens . which is essentially called a scleral lens. a dome shaped lens that sits over your eye, ideally not obstructing your cornea, but sits more like a shield over the entire part of your eye...

I encountered a few misguided avenues to find this, but that has definitely also been how I have been learning so far...

this also was something that kept delaying me from finalising my trip to the U.S as well..

Eventually called up the hospital I was admitted to in the first place and after being transferred many times, spoke to a fairly unfriendly person on the other end, after she had told me she can't help me, I managed to get a name of a specialist from her and she hung up..

I called them up and made an appointment within a few days to see the recommended doctor...In the meantime my ever encouraging parents & a helpful friend of my mother's who happens to specialise also in eye care, in Sri Lanka, doing their own research also came up with an option in new Zealand, I got in touch via their website; mentioned this condition & asked if they had what I was looking for...
 I also mentioned to them that I will be visiting this doctor in Melbourne...

The next week I arrived at the eye surgery in Melbourne and to my surprise he already knew who I was.. The doctor said that the specialist in New Zealand had already been in touch, letting them know that I was coming...Ever since they have treated me with so much of extra care and concern.. and been very supportive...

It turns out the specialist in New Zealand was a mentor/teacher to the specialist in Boston.. and I had found the source (in a way) and was delivered to a handful of good specialists to look after my eyes and the option that they could custom make this lens for me...

This is what my eye looks like with one trial lens in at the moment.. so far I would recommend this option (if I may) obviously with much consultation to those suffering from what I have - severe dryness, sensitivity, ingrown eye lashes, and scarring as this serves in my opinion similar to a glass covering your eye...

At first I was disappointed about not being able to go to the U.S...

took a few days to reflect upon it and as my mum pointed out, I had to separate my medical treatment from a holiday... and when I did, everything turned...things made sense... I slowly pursued this option... many, many doctors visits for fittings and trials... and all of this would have not been possible if I was in Boston for just two weeks...

This option enabled me to get the lens modified, fitted and even trial it for almost half a day before buying it...

As I write this I have given it back for adjustment of prescription, which is again, an option I would have not had access to...I am yet to benefit fully from this lens, due to changes... but I can testify that this option is available to me - that in itself is a blessing...

at the same time. I also decided to leave a work place I called my second home and a bunch of people that were like family to me.. I made this decision as I felt it was my time to move, learn and grow...

It was  tough decision, but I am about to start a job with another organisation I admire greatly and looking forward to a new adventure...

 

but when I was in a hospital bed let alone going back to work, I never thought that I would be able to see again... not having my eye sight for almost two weeks... 

These bunch of people saw me at my best & then saw me at my worst & supported me none the lesser. ...These friends I have made have been for life, and will carry that on...  This image below shows what I looked like few months into going back to work ..

I still recall how I felt when I woke up that day in a ICU bed, fear engulfed me, I felt like I was being strangled, I felt like I was having a nightmare and I may wake up.. but I could not open my eyes.. Only heard the sound of machines and the touch of people...

The distance travelled since, is purely a miracle .. 

here I am embarking upon a new start... having learnt so much from the past and grateful for it all....

If I had left to the U.S. , I would have also not had the opportunity of taking the next step in my career and work I loved doing...

in hindsight when I reminisced on how timing has played a key role in my life... how the timing of our maker & our guidance, it is never too late, or too early for us...Always perfectly on time ..

Whatever your faith might be, know that the higher power you believe in, will not give you more than you can bear...& the grace to get through it too.

Change has been ever present in my life, but more so after I fell ill almost two years ago... change in appearance...change in perspective and change in outlook .

there are times when we all experience some type of uncertainty, anxiety and general worry about where things may lead.. but I prayed so much about it and I know many more were doing the same for me... and as a result I feel that supernatural power work through the situation...- a heartfelt thank you...

Timing plays an integral part in our lives and how we respond to situations .. It moulds us .. We need to be open & receptive, I've found, to what we are about to receive .. 

I still recall the days when I got on a train or anywhere public & I used to look down  too shy to look up because of what this condition had done to my body burnt, scarred & little to no hair on my head .. I used to hide in the car if we had to go grocery shopping .. & have Cameron or my mum do it ..
slowly but surely realised beauty is skin deep .. And that sentence has a whole lot of emotion & experience behind it - now ...
as the blog is named the art of "learning to live in my new skin" is a lesson I take on each and every day with its challenges and triumphs..

Change & time; what it has done - a whole new lease on things ..

There are days I still question why I wasn't taken when God had the chance then I realise that my creator must have greatness to unfold ...

Am grateful for all that has been my blessings so far .. Sight, breath, the strength through family & friends & mostly the ability to dance during the storms ..! because of the supernatural strength I get...

I don't for one moment put all that glory and triumph on me alone, but am thankful to all those that guided me, advised me and God that guided me to take the necessary steps..

Timing can be everything in life, if only we stop to ponder, listen and reflect... the answers will start coming..

I have no doubt there are good days, & the not so good ahead, like for everyone.. but knowing that the pain has made me grow and the grace will be sufficient, makes me think onwards and upwards...

Thanks as always for asking me to write, these are thoughts I have had for awhile that I have wanted to share... in the hope it may help uplift or help at least one person reading this or going through it.. Fondest love ...