A new year, a new start... The plan was to leave all the scarring that was caused in 2013 behind, for a new year...starting off on a good note... my superstitious self wanted everything to go well... and everything to go according to a plan...
But we can only plan for the next moment in life. ..everything happens at the perfect time within reason .. for us to understand now or years later. .
The year started off with a miserable day; within relationships, my outlook, my vibe, and from therein flowed negativity...
I know, that some of you know, I have been following and supporting the journey of a seven year old boy named Oakley. who was diagnosed with the same condition I had a few months back. Steven Johnson syndrome/TENs. He was getting better, then worse and it kept fluctuating. Feeling all his pain and what he must be going through, as it all is still very raw in my mind... I was quite upset about his progress and wanted him to get well soon, come out of this miserable state soon.. the poor little boy was going through so much pain and discomfort...this story of how he was not progressing, was quite upsetting... and for a moment, made me lose hope...
A few days later, I wake up to a text message from my mum ... "A ten year old girl diagnosed with SJS and critical in Sydney, please call her mum".. my heart ached for her, and when I called her mum she burst into tears.. the assurance I gave her was " I am a survivor of SJS, it happened to me four months back, she will come out of this". all I can say is be her strength and be there for her.. word now is, little girl is on the mend and improving each day...
When I was feeling down... on the first of the year, I rang up my mum who I speak to daily and confide in for everything... but this time I didn't say much of what was upsetting me.... the different battles that was occurring within.. but without a doubt she knew.. few days later I reached breaking point and spoke to her.. She said something quite striking to me... "Dinu, this is your purpose; to help others going through something like you, all else in this world is secondary.."
it took a few days to sink in, and accept my reality.
There are days I battle so hard to find a purpose to why God spared me... There are days I still get on a train or walk on the street and notice strangers staring my way.. awkwardly... as my skin does look very abnormal and unnatural still.. especially my arms and body. However with summer in Australia, and anyone that has been through this ordeal will testify that we feel the heat more than ever now.. I feel hot flushes and the heat, but more over I don't see the need to cover the scars anymore or hide away from my reality, as it were... as a friend once said : Don't hide your scars they are proof that God heals..
Same goes with hair, it is a similar feeling. I feel so bare and out in the open... but I have learnt to wear it now...
The year started off with a miserable day; within relationships, my outlook, my vibe, and from therein flowed negativity...
I know, that some of you know, I have been following and supporting the journey of a seven year old boy named Oakley. who was diagnosed with the same condition I had a few months back. Steven Johnson syndrome/TENs. He was getting better, then worse and it kept fluctuating. Feeling all his pain and what he must be going through, as it all is still very raw in my mind... I was quite upset about his progress and wanted him to get well soon, come out of this miserable state soon.. the poor little boy was going through so much pain and discomfort...this story of how he was not progressing, was quite upsetting... and for a moment, made me lose hope...
A few days later, I wake up to a text message from my mum ... "A ten year old girl diagnosed with SJS and critical in Sydney, please call her mum".. my heart ached for her, and when I called her mum she burst into tears.. the assurance I gave her was " I am a survivor of SJS, it happened to me four months back, she will come out of this". all I can say is be her strength and be there for her.. word now is, little girl is on the mend and improving each day...
When I was feeling down... on the first of the year, I rang up my mum who I speak to daily and confide in for everything... but this time I didn't say much of what was upsetting me.... the different battles that was occurring within.. but without a doubt she knew.. few days later I reached breaking point and spoke to her.. She said something quite striking to me... "Dinu, this is your purpose; to help others going through something like you, all else in this world is secondary.."
it took a few days to sink in, and accept my reality.
There are days I battle so hard to find a purpose to why God spared me... There are days I still get on a train or walk on the street and notice strangers staring my way.. awkwardly... as my skin does look very abnormal and unnatural still.. especially my arms and body. However with summer in Australia, and anyone that has been through this ordeal will testify that we feel the heat more than ever now.. I feel hot flushes and the heat, but more over I don't see the need to cover the scars anymore or hide away from my reality, as it were... as a friend once said : Don't hide your scars they are proof that God heals..
Same goes with hair, it is a similar feeling. I feel so bare and out in the open... but I have learnt to wear it now...
Think about a cancer survivor or someone that has been burnt , they go through so much we can choose to hide or choose wear their battle scars, and each scar tells a story...
Just a few days back, Cameron and I were reminiscing on the day my parents arrived to see me in hospital. How devastated they were when they saw me in an unrecognizable state and the rest of my family were quite shaken.. But I am still learning each day of the support network that surrounded me and the strength it gave us.. we are being contacted by people that have heard this story and have prayed for us.. what a beautiful thing.
One promise I make is to create awareness.. to see Oakley's story in the Sri Lankan newspaper, was definitely a start.. and this torch will be carried.. for all survivors.. it's a journey that unless you go through you will never fully understand. It's a hard one because you realize a whole lot about life.. you knock on death's door and everything could be gone in a flash. and you're given back to this world.. it is a surreal feeling..
Seeing the dawn of 2014 for me was much the same feeling. surreal. I couldn't believe I made it.. 4.5 months back I wasn't able to see. or move or feel... I was told I may never see...but God's power is beyond our measure.
When there are days I feel down and it does happen quite often still.... I think, from my journey what I can share with you now is. Think to yourself: what is my purpose, and my passion.. each and every one of us have one..people may hurt you ..Let you down..and sometimes we get upset. .because we expect. . take a step back an don't let that affect you...keep going.. because your strength for your passion gets stronger then... realize your purpose, realize your potential.. and all else is secondary..all else the world throws at you can be your armor to get stronger
We all have hopes and dreams for our future...no doubt, and they can all become a reality if we align them with our passion... and our purpose.. and we don't have to go too far to find it ... it lies within us, the still small voice within us... that speaks... therein lies why we are placed on this earth..
I know and can feel deep within that mine is to help.. Help those in need, help and support those going through a journey similar to mine..
Sometimes, quiet time by yourself helps you realize your purpose.. and sometimes the extents to which we should go to make it happen...
While I blog mine, and in reality things can change.. I hope you find yours.. your purpose to be here...
Just a few days back, Cameron and I were reminiscing on the day my parents arrived to see me in hospital. How devastated they were when they saw me in an unrecognizable state and the rest of my family were quite shaken.. But I am still learning each day of the support network that surrounded me and the strength it gave us.. we are being contacted by people that have heard this story and have prayed for us.. what a beautiful thing.
One promise I make is to create awareness.. to see Oakley's story in the Sri Lankan newspaper, was definitely a start.. and this torch will be carried.. for all survivors.. it's a journey that unless you go through you will never fully understand. It's a hard one because you realize a whole lot about life.. you knock on death's door and everything could be gone in a flash. and you're given back to this world.. it is a surreal feeling..
Seeing the dawn of 2014 for me was much the same feeling. surreal. I couldn't believe I made it.. 4.5 months back I wasn't able to see. or move or feel... I was told I may never see...but God's power is beyond our measure.
When there are days I feel down and it does happen quite often still.... I think, from my journey what I can share with you now is. Think to yourself: what is my purpose, and my passion.. each and every one of us have one..people may hurt you ..Let you down..and sometimes we get upset. .because we expect. . take a step back an don't let that affect you...keep going.. because your strength for your passion gets stronger then... realize your purpose, realize your potential.. and all else is secondary..all else the world throws at you can be your armor to get stronger
We all have hopes and dreams for our future...no doubt, and they can all become a reality if we align them with our passion... and our purpose.. and we don't have to go too far to find it ... it lies within us, the still small voice within us... that speaks... therein lies why we are placed on this earth..
I know and can feel deep within that mine is to help.. Help those in need, help and support those going through a journey similar to mine..
Sometimes, quiet time by yourself helps you realize your purpose.. and sometimes the extents to which we should go to make it happen...
While I blog mine, and in reality things can change.. I hope you find yours.. your purpose to be here...
What is your purpose. . I know there are days we all wonder. ..? .. it lies in what ignites the spark within you. I think.
This journey now nearly 5 months on.. has its challenges its 'great days' and its 'miserable days' days I feel like an alien, days I feel like I don't fit in and don't belong.. but also days am so thankful and blessed to be here.. when I hear of stories of illness... my heart goes out with true empathy now... and I am able to offer support...and it is making me realize that whatever we go through either, we shouldn't be ashamed or hide from it, neither make ourselves the victim of the situation. But, rather we should be survivors of the situation ....
Thank you for following my blog, and thank you for your encouragement I receive so genuinely.. it surely makes my walk along this journey far more lighter
This journey now nearly 5 months on.. has its challenges its 'great days' and its 'miserable days' days I feel like an alien, days I feel like I don't fit in and don't belong.. but also days am so thankful and blessed to be here.. when I hear of stories of illness... my heart goes out with true empathy now... and I am able to offer support...and it is making me realize that whatever we go through either, we shouldn't be ashamed or hide from it, neither make ourselves the victim of the situation. But, rather we should be survivors of the situation ....
Thank you for following my blog, and thank you for your encouragement I receive so genuinely.. it surely makes my walk along this journey far more lighter
