One year ago...life took me by surprise.. usually surprises can be a good thing.. when I think of a surprise, I think of people hiding in a little room yelling out 'Surprise' when its your birthday or your celebrating something! or been taken somewhere you weren't told about, or having a surprise gift on your doorstep..
'Surprise' this time was of a whole different kind. when it happened it was the worst thing I was going through, it would have to be on my list of worst nightmares!
Life threw me a curve ball! indeed...
But one year to date, when I look back.. Phew! has life made me grow up...life has taught me lessons I would have never learnt.
It has made me deal with the worst kind of anger I have- anger I have for my own self; doing the wrong thing, at the wrong time... it has made me deal with depression, sadness, emptiness, loneliness. But in return it gave me the gift of perception, gratitude, an appreciation for each sense and a brand new lease on life..
It has made me value the moments that make me smile, but also the moments that don't. to realize the hilltops and the valleys in life, and cherish them both, as they both won't last forever...
It has made me see friends in people I would have never known, rekindle old friendships and made me wake up each morning with gratitude..
People have been asking me, recently, does it feel longer than a year ago, or less.. it feels like a hell of a lot longer than a year, when I was standing on a cold night in a bar in Melbourne having a few drinks with old school friends and then everything changed... little did I know I would spend the next almost 3 weeks in ICU and the next few months, having a whole new sense of myself..
I don't know if it is a good or a bad thing, that I feel like it it is longer than a year, but no one can answer that... all I know is it has been very rough seas, constant medical appointments, unpredictable health & a whole lot of sleepless nights, and sore eyes... a change in what I used to know of myself outwardly, and accepting the other challenges that come with it..
if I have bad day, each day at night I try to lay those negative thoughts to rest, I say to myself when I wake up. its a new one who knows what it holds, but I can make it consist of smiles, good memories, positivity and light..
it's like I was cruising along and it hit me with the most unexpected condition I still suffer with to date..and will probably for a long time to come... so be it...
The daily concerns this has thrown me is beyond anything I could have expected ...
This blog is to not re-live the past in any way, but to be thankful for the memories created in this one year... for the angels I have had the pleasure of meeting, the laughs shared, the cries you have heard from me, the concern shown , the understanding given when I have not been reliable, the constant care and love showered and the invaluable bonds formed throughout this year
Steven Johnson Syndrome/ Toxic Epidermal Necrolysis is deadly and is still not heard of widely enough, so here we are in August to help create awareness and I will send you a blue ribbon (for free) if you wish to wear it for at least one week of the month - for us survivors, and ones that lost the battle with it. and spread the knowledge, that you should always Educate before you medicate
It is not in anyway a regrettable experience, but one I will no doubt remember for the rest of my life, and from one year on - for all the good reasons.
Thank you..
'Surprise' this time was of a whole different kind. when it happened it was the worst thing I was going through, it would have to be on my list of worst nightmares!
Life threw me a curve ball! indeed...
But one year to date, when I look back.. Phew! has life made me grow up...life has taught me lessons I would have never learnt.
It has made me deal with the worst kind of anger I have- anger I have for my own self; doing the wrong thing, at the wrong time... it has made me deal with depression, sadness, emptiness, loneliness. But in return it gave me the gift of perception, gratitude, an appreciation for each sense and a brand new lease on life..
It has made me value the moments that make me smile, but also the moments that don't. to realize the hilltops and the valleys in life, and cherish them both, as they both won't last forever...
It has made me see friends in people I would have never known, rekindle old friendships and made me wake up each morning with gratitude..
People have been asking me, recently, does it feel longer than a year ago, or less.. it feels like a hell of a lot longer than a year, when I was standing on a cold night in a bar in Melbourne having a few drinks with old school friends and then everything changed... little did I know I would spend the next almost 3 weeks in ICU and the next few months, having a whole new sense of myself..
I don't know if it is a good or a bad thing, that I feel like it it is longer than a year, but no one can answer that... all I know is it has been very rough seas, constant medical appointments, unpredictable health & a whole lot of sleepless nights, and sore eyes... a change in what I used to know of myself outwardly, and accepting the other challenges that come with it..
if I have bad day, each day at night I try to lay those negative thoughts to rest, I say to myself when I wake up. its a new one who knows what it holds, but I can make it consist of smiles, good memories, positivity and light..
it's like I was cruising along and it hit me with the most unexpected condition I still suffer with to date..and will probably for a long time to come... so be it...
The daily concerns this has thrown me is beyond anything I could have expected ...
This blog is to not re-live the past in any way, but to be thankful for the memories created in this one year... for the angels I have had the pleasure of meeting, the laughs shared, the cries you have heard from me, the concern shown , the understanding given when I have not been reliable, the constant care and love showered and the invaluable bonds formed throughout this year
Steven Johnson Syndrome/ Toxic Epidermal Necrolysis is deadly and is still not heard of widely enough, so here we are in August to help create awareness and I will send you a blue ribbon (for free) if you wish to wear it for at least one week of the month - for us survivors, and ones that lost the battle with it. and spread the knowledge, that you should always Educate before you medicate
It is not in anyway a regrettable experience, but one I will no doubt remember for the rest of my life, and from one year on - for all the good reasons.
Thank you..
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