What can darkness teach us about ourselves... A whole lot!
Eye infections, never thought much of them at all, until I caught one myself. I used to fear them even as a child, but as my condition has worsened I have dreaded it even more.
It brought fear, uncertainty. The pain and re-living of a feeling I knew all too well. Not having my eye-sight. I was warned that eye infections will be common for me as soon as I wear these sceleral lenses. I had been lucky to not have it for the past 6 months.
A few weeks ago, as a result of Stevens Johnson syndrome, the eye infection I caught was much more severe than usual. It required almost daily check ups . Those that go through this would know how much of a difference it makes to your daily eye care routine. It meant just not being able to face the light. it meant straining my eyes and facing pain at work and pushing through even while it was very challenging.The light blinded me, and my eyes felt heavy and tired. Having a hard lens in there, meant I felt every corner of that lens rub on my already infected, inflamed eye. It taught me to readjust my ways similar to someone that was visually impaired
There was one instance that I had to drive and it came to the point where I simply relied on faith alone to get me through a set of traffic lights as I could not keep my eyes open. it was too painful to look into the light. I honestly had little faith that i would make it through
Sometimes, in our lives we go through patches of darkness. I learnt that even more- during the two weeks in that darkness I found myself through a little more soul searching..I literally had to shut my eyes, the brightness was way too much to handle. I am a person that loves to bask in the sunshine enjoy warmth. but this experience taught me that it's ok to sit in the darkness sometimes, especially until we are ready to come out. Until we're ready again .
healing takes many forms. I suppose it takes sadness to appreciate happiness, brightness to appreciate the darkness, heartbreak to appreciate a good soul when you find it and chaos to appreciate peace.
I used to think darkness was actually never a place to visit or we shouldn't spend too long there. A stigma in some sense. but you can find yourself in it sometimes. we shouldn't wallow in feeling sorry for ourselves for too long as that can take you to the victim mentality and lead to a whole different path during the darkness. But instead, embrace the moment that you are going through, acknowledging that healing is still very much happening within your body and mind and learning to search through the darkness.
This eye infection took me back to when I first came out of hospital. required me to close my eyes by about 7pm each night stay in the darkness and look within.
I used this as a time to pray, a time to be so grateful for all that I did have in my life and a time to just listen to the sounds of my inner being.
here are a few things I found:
- Darkness can teach me a lot about the stars .. think about it at times like these we can either choose to say it's too dark I can't see anything therefore I choose to be sad, or we can choose to see the little sparks of light that help us find our way.
- Faith! complete and sheer faith in my maker, belief to get me through the struggle
- Surrender : some situations you have to surrender and it's not always a bad thing. if it's a rough patch accept it is one and grasp the learning from the situation. Surrender does not mean a sign of weakness, but it could mean surrendering to learn what the circumstance is trying to teach me
- if you lose one particular sense , your other senses are heightened. much like in the darkness, when you can't see you touch and feel your way around and you end up finding you way. Just like if you lose the willingness to keep going, or feel depressed and down; do some soul searching you will find within you hope, strength and resilience you never knew you had
Eye infections, never thought much of them at all, until I caught one myself. I used to fear them even as a child, but as my condition has worsened I have dreaded it even more.
It brought fear, uncertainty. The pain and re-living of a feeling I knew all too well. Not having my eye-sight. I was warned that eye infections will be common for me as soon as I wear these sceleral lenses. I had been lucky to not have it for the past 6 months.
A few weeks ago, as a result of Stevens Johnson syndrome, the eye infection I caught was much more severe than usual. It required almost daily check ups . Those that go through this would know how much of a difference it makes to your daily eye care routine. It meant just not being able to face the light. it meant straining my eyes and facing pain at work and pushing through even while it was very challenging.The light blinded me, and my eyes felt heavy and tired. Having a hard lens in there, meant I felt every corner of that lens rub on my already infected, inflamed eye. It taught me to readjust my ways similar to someone that was visually impaired
There was one instance that I had to drive and it came to the point where I simply relied on faith alone to get me through a set of traffic lights as I could not keep my eyes open. it was too painful to look into the light. I honestly had little faith that i would make it through
Sometimes, in our lives we go through patches of darkness. I learnt that even more- during the two weeks in that darkness I found myself through a little more soul searching..I literally had to shut my eyes, the brightness was way too much to handle. I am a person that loves to bask in the sunshine enjoy warmth. but this experience taught me that it's ok to sit in the darkness sometimes, especially until we are ready to come out. Until we're ready again .
healing takes many forms. I suppose it takes sadness to appreciate happiness, brightness to appreciate the darkness, heartbreak to appreciate a good soul when you find it and chaos to appreciate peace.
I used to think darkness was actually never a place to visit or we shouldn't spend too long there. A stigma in some sense. but you can find yourself in it sometimes. we shouldn't wallow in feeling sorry for ourselves for too long as that can take you to the victim mentality and lead to a whole different path during the darkness. But instead, embrace the moment that you are going through, acknowledging that healing is still very much happening within your body and mind and learning to search through the darkness.
This eye infection took me back to when I first came out of hospital. required me to close my eyes by about 7pm each night stay in the darkness and look within.
I used this as a time to pray, a time to be so grateful for all that I did have in my life and a time to just listen to the sounds of my inner being.
here are a few things I found:
- Darkness can teach me a lot about the stars .. think about it at times like these we can either choose to say it's too dark I can't see anything therefore I choose to be sad, or we can choose to see the little sparks of light that help us find our way.
- Faith! complete and sheer faith in my maker, belief to get me through the struggle
- Surrender : some situations you have to surrender and it's not always a bad thing. if it's a rough patch accept it is one and grasp the learning from the situation. Surrender does not mean a sign of weakness, but it could mean surrendering to learn what the circumstance is trying to teach me
- if you lose one particular sense , your other senses are heightened. much like in the darkness, when you can't see you touch and feel your way around and you end up finding you way. Just like if you lose the willingness to keep going, or feel depressed and down; do some soul searching you will find within you hope, strength and resilience you never knew you had
- Support how much it means and how very valuable it can be to have that in your life, and it can come in the form of a smile, a nod or just a simple I am here for you.
What would you do, if you may run the risk of losing your eye-sight or it deteriorating the next time you fell ill or it's closer than you know!? I would live my life to the fullest , embrace all the beauty I see, form friendships and relationships that are based on genuineness and good faith. Walk away from situations that no longer make me grow it is a big part of my healing and well-being. And firm faith and belief to carry you through the storm . But mostly I won't settle for anything less than beautiful. And when I say 'beautiful' I don't mean surface beautiful, materialistic things, money , possessions or status. We aren't taking them anywhere on our journey
I mean beauty my soul can learn from, positivity you can grow from, moments that take my breath away, new smells that make me want to explore, the touch of someone I have much to learn from, the sound of genuine laughter; and the sparks of light during the darkness and the ability to learn from it.
I hope that this post may help if you are in the darkness, not in the literal sense so much, but in a situation that you may not see an end to, or illness and can't see or dont know where you're heading. it's not all that bad you know? it can teach you so much more than you know. it can teach you so much about you, about your healing process.
May this week and month ahead of you be filled with experiences, good and bad ! they pave paths to our strength, a renewed faith and moments that may even take our breath away!
What would you do, if you may run the risk of losing your eye-sight or it deteriorating the next time you fell ill or it's closer than you know!? I would live my life to the fullest , embrace all the beauty I see, form friendships and relationships that are based on genuineness and good faith. Walk away from situations that no longer make me grow it is a big part of my healing and well-being. And firm faith and belief to carry you through the storm . But mostly I won't settle for anything less than beautiful. And when I say 'beautiful' I don't mean surface beautiful, materialistic things, money , possessions or status. We aren't taking them anywhere on our journey
I mean beauty my soul can learn from, positivity you can grow from, moments that take my breath away, new smells that make me want to explore, the touch of someone I have much to learn from, the sound of genuine laughter; and the sparks of light during the darkness and the ability to learn from it.
I hope that this post may help if you are in the darkness, not in the literal sense so much, but in a situation that you may not see an end to, or illness and can't see or dont know where you're heading. it's not all that bad you know? it can teach you so much more than you know. it can teach you so much about you, about your healing process.
May this week and month ahead of you be filled with experiences, good and bad ! they pave paths to our strength, a renewed faith and moments that may even take our breath away!
No comments:
Post a Comment