Yesterday was a beautiful spring day in Melbourne, the sun was shinning through the trees you could feel the warmth and it was such serenity looking out my kitchen window.. I felt a sense of summer ....
Although I wasn't feeling 100% , I thought I should put on a nice summer dress, sit outside and enjoy the beauty nature has given me... and so I did ,I got my dress out and to my surprise it hit me again, that my body has changed so much... my skin was scarred and I can't dress for a usual summer day, in usual summer clothing, I still have to be very cautious, because my burnt skin was exposed.. I also again, realized the loss of my long hair and that brought me to tears.. I felt like I had lost a very important part of me, I very much was attached to... I never in my wildest dreams would have cut my hair off, and often have nightmares of how I look, or dreams that my hair has grown back.. this is definitely something that keeps playing in my sub conscious mind.. coming to terms with the changes my body is going through is a daily battle...I felt like I didn't recognize myself, and to be honest I didn't... I felt like I didn't look like 'all the others' and I felt like Cameron might even be ashamed to walk with me, because of how different I looked...It made me feel more aware of my skin, my hair, my eyes, my sensitivity to everything around me, and my 'image'..
But I took a step back and realized, yes I don't recognize myself? who am I turning into...? I don't recognize my outer self, but am starting to make friends with my inner being and soul... I am starting to make best friends with myself...and that is truly vital in order to get through this journey...
Often we get carried away by the 'image', the idea of how we are supposed to look, to this world, how we will be accepted, and we held down by a bondage, we are limited by what boundaries people set for us.. . There are certain, traits in life that we should live by and cultivate, good manners, kindness, love, honesty, respect, sharing and giving, support and empathy.. these basic human characteristics make us better people, not how we should look, or what our status in life is. that define us....Our ambitions, goals, dreams and paths can all be varied and different, and just because I am taking another path to reach my happiness doesn't mean I won't get there, it just means my journey is different...
Often we tend to take first impressions or judgements on how people look straight away and this experience has taught me to shake that habit off.. to shake off passing judgement on people, period. or that don't conform to the idea of 'normal' or 'good looking'.. we are all equals in this world, be it rich or poor, famous or not... we all should have equal rights too...(which, sadly doesn't happen in this world) Finding contentment and peace with our decisions is what leads us to cultivating the habit of happiness...
I have learnt and am still learning, that we need to surround ourselves with a whole lot of positive energy.. thoughts and people.. If a certain thing worries or stresses us out, there is no point in letting it rent space in your head, or thoughts, it destroys your inner peace. Walk away from it, and give yourself the permission to do so...
Also learning to not let the idea of image and materialistic things affect us, in a way that it affects our self-esteem.
At the end of this experience I encountered yesterday, I learnt to hold my chin up, feel comfortable within, hold my centre, go outside into our backyard and have a lovely meal with Cameron, who has accepted me at my worst. and finds and connects to the happiness I share with him, from within.... Always keep your head up they say, if not you may miss out on seeing the blessings bestowed upon you.. And blessings be it or not, for the moment am happy, who knows if it will last forever, but I will enjoy it while it lasts... and that's how it will be.. Living in the moment
Even to the rest of the world that pass judgement, the only frame of mind, that may get us through, is this is me at the moment. and am learning to be content with "living in my new skin" literally, but skin in this context may not only be that, it can be a frame of mind, a new way of living, your journey..... Sometimes, in life we might be disfigured due to something that happened to us, we maybe born like that, it might be through our own doing, or we may feel inferior and we may even be emotionally disfigured and scarred. .. However, we can't expect people to show us respect or love, if we don't show it to our own selves.. first..
Accepting the way we are and the way we look each day is not a weakness, but merely a way of embracing each day with all it's beauty..
As I learn and experience I write, so it may strengthen and help someone else, somewhere out there in the world..
One of my pictures will show you the hair that was cut off during my time in the hospital, and literally was my attachment, a temporary attachment, like my skin that peeled off, etc these are all temporary things we tend to hold on to, as a part of our image.. as a part of what completes us, and sadly some hold on to monetary compensation, as a part of their complete image too. Sometimes what we humans fail to understand is that these are all so temporary and can be removed from us in a blink of an eye, literally ( I can vouch for this). These don't and never will complete us, only we can complete ourselves... So make friends with yourself, and your God.. learn that all these can be stripped off you and all you can be left with is your soul.... Your inner strength .. All we go to the grave with, are also these... not our bank accounts or our looks... So maintain that inner calmness, peace and happiness wherever your journey may lead you, and to all else that is negative and not good for your soul to grow, leave it behind...
I fall, I fall all the time and even more so now, but the difference is I have a different lens on now, I used to wear the lens of why me, or get sad, and upset. Now I have a new set of eyes, eyes to only see the good in whatever may come my way, skin that feels all the sensitivities around me, and also the love and comfort I receive...that negates all the bad I feel.. and a inner being that recognizes this happened to me within reason, and that reason is bigger than I can see or comprehend... and that this journey will lead me to a place I have always, always wanted to go to..
My journey to find inner strength, continues daily...Our blessings are forever flowing, we keep experiencing God's love and the love of human beings on a daily basis...Keep reading this blog to find out more about these and the battles I fight, they may help you in your journey....
For those of you who have contacted me regarding my blog, I thank you, you give me reason to keep sharing, and that is one of my greatest joys in life...
Although I wasn't feeling 100% , I thought I should put on a nice summer dress, sit outside and enjoy the beauty nature has given me... and so I did ,I got my dress out and to my surprise it hit me again, that my body has changed so much... my skin was scarred and I can't dress for a usual summer day, in usual summer clothing, I still have to be very cautious, because my burnt skin was exposed.. I also again, realized the loss of my long hair and that brought me to tears.. I felt like I had lost a very important part of me, I very much was attached to... I never in my wildest dreams would have cut my hair off, and often have nightmares of how I look, or dreams that my hair has grown back.. this is definitely something that keeps playing in my sub conscious mind.. coming to terms with the changes my body is going through is a daily battle...I felt like I didn't recognize myself, and to be honest I didn't... I felt like I didn't look like 'all the others' and I felt like Cameron might even be ashamed to walk with me, because of how different I looked...It made me feel more aware of my skin, my hair, my eyes, my sensitivity to everything around me, and my 'image'..
But I took a step back and realized, yes I don't recognize myself? who am I turning into...? I don't recognize my outer self, but am starting to make friends with my inner being and soul... I am starting to make best friends with myself...and that is truly vital in order to get through this journey...
Often we get carried away by the 'image', the idea of how we are supposed to look, to this world, how we will be accepted, and we held down by a bondage, we are limited by what boundaries people set for us.. . There are certain, traits in life that we should live by and cultivate, good manners, kindness, love, honesty, respect, sharing and giving, support and empathy.. these basic human characteristics make us better people, not how we should look, or what our status in life is. that define us....Our ambitions, goals, dreams and paths can all be varied and different, and just because I am taking another path to reach my happiness doesn't mean I won't get there, it just means my journey is different...
Often we tend to take first impressions or judgements on how people look straight away and this experience has taught me to shake that habit off.. to shake off passing judgement on people, period. or that don't conform to the idea of 'normal' or 'good looking'.. we are all equals in this world, be it rich or poor, famous or not... we all should have equal rights too...(which, sadly doesn't happen in this world) Finding contentment and peace with our decisions is what leads us to cultivating the habit of happiness...
I have learnt and am still learning, that we need to surround ourselves with a whole lot of positive energy.. thoughts and people.. If a certain thing worries or stresses us out, there is no point in letting it rent space in your head, or thoughts, it destroys your inner peace. Walk away from it, and give yourself the permission to do so...
Also learning to not let the idea of image and materialistic things affect us, in a way that it affects our self-esteem.
At the end of this experience I encountered yesterday, I learnt to hold my chin up, feel comfortable within, hold my centre, go outside into our backyard and have a lovely meal with Cameron, who has accepted me at my worst. and finds and connects to the happiness I share with him, from within.... Always keep your head up they say, if not you may miss out on seeing the blessings bestowed upon you.. And blessings be it or not, for the moment am happy, who knows if it will last forever, but I will enjoy it while it lasts... and that's how it will be.. Living in the moment
Even to the rest of the world that pass judgement, the only frame of mind, that may get us through, is this is me at the moment. and am learning to be content with "living in my new skin" literally, but skin in this context may not only be that, it can be a frame of mind, a new way of living, your journey..... Sometimes, in life we might be disfigured due to something that happened to us, we maybe born like that, it might be through our own doing, or we may feel inferior and we may even be emotionally disfigured and scarred. .. However, we can't expect people to show us respect or love, if we don't show it to our own selves.. first..
Accepting the way we are and the way we look each day is not a weakness, but merely a way of embracing each day with all it's beauty..
As I learn and experience I write, so it may strengthen and help someone else, somewhere out there in the world..
One of my pictures will show you the hair that was cut off during my time in the hospital, and literally was my attachment, a temporary attachment, like my skin that peeled off, etc these are all temporary things we tend to hold on to, as a part of our image.. as a part of what completes us, and sadly some hold on to monetary compensation, as a part of their complete image too. Sometimes what we humans fail to understand is that these are all so temporary and can be removed from us in a blink of an eye, literally ( I can vouch for this). These don't and never will complete us, only we can complete ourselves... So make friends with yourself, and your God.. learn that all these can be stripped off you and all you can be left with is your soul.... Your inner strength .. All we go to the grave with, are also these... not our bank accounts or our looks... So maintain that inner calmness, peace and happiness wherever your journey may lead you, and to all else that is negative and not good for your soul to grow, leave it behind...
I fall, I fall all the time and even more so now, but the difference is I have a different lens on now, I used to wear the lens of why me, or get sad, and upset. Now I have a new set of eyes, eyes to only see the good in whatever may come my way, skin that feels all the sensitivities around me, and also the love and comfort I receive...that negates all the bad I feel.. and a inner being that recognizes this happened to me within reason, and that reason is bigger than I can see or comprehend... and that this journey will lead me to a place I have always, always wanted to go to..
My journey to find inner strength, continues daily...Our blessings are forever flowing, we keep experiencing God's love and the love of human beings on a daily basis...Keep reading this blog to find out more about these and the battles I fight, they may help you in your journey....
For those of you who have contacted me regarding my blog, I thank you, you give me reason to keep sharing, and that is one of my greatest joys in life...
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