My roller coaster ride has been full of emotions...but it's one hell of a ride, and am holding on..

How do we share the blessings bestowed upon us... how do we say Thank you ....

I never knew how to repay the many people that have blessed me with thier presence thier time , care, filling up our fridge, garden, flower pots and love...

 

Three months to be exact, my life took a turn... for the better or for the worse is questionable, in hindsight it was for the better.. For without  this experience, I wouldn't have learnt how to count my blessings, how to listen to my body, how to let go of the negative and take in the positives, to fully comprehend the love my family have for me, and to see the friends that cared about and lifted me up... I truly saw and understood the value and the meaning of the world 'angels'

 

These three months have been a whirlwind of emotions, from feeling great to feeling ugly, from feeling positive to hitting rock bottom, from being around family and friends to being my own best friend, and from having looking like I was, to a sudden change in it all...

 

The most hardest thing to grasp at the moment, I think is the sudden change in my life . The changes in my routines, the extent to what I can handle, and the chronic fatigue. But what has also come out of it is, the threshold I have for pain, the extent to which I have learnt about people, the ability to know my self worth, the ability to breathe and let things go, the fresh set of eyes to see beyond appearance and a new found appreciation for my family and circle of friends...

 

There comes a time in life I think, when we all go through something, dramatically life changing, some of us in the latter part, some of us at a younger age.. either way, it opens our eyes ...  It is a matter of choosing to see the roses amongst the thorns or the thorns amongst the roses as Abraham Lincoln said..

 

I think each decision we make, comes with an impact. a consequence, I know that some decisions I made, in my younger days made a great impact on my life, and I had to face the challenges it threw. If I had the chance to tell my teenage self something, it would be is to be strong...nothing else, not change anything. but "Be strong, you are stronger than you know"....A challenge can only break you if you let it... and looking back on the past few years, I have faced many a life changing issues, decisions I've made and lessons I have learnt, that have made me to who I am today..

 

One of them was fighting depression.. In the recent past, I spent a few months, letting the black dog plague my life.. I suffered with the decisions I made, I felt an overwhelming sense of sadness and not being able to find contentment with anything I did... but I had to take the challenge into my hands, ask God for his guidance and make some life changing alterations!, ... find my passion, find a place and head space that lets me live my passion out - daily, find my inner calmness and get to know myself a whole lot more...and learn that I can only adjust my own sails, and no one else's ... that puts a new spin on life...and do away with negativity..

 

 today, I vow never to go down that downward spiral again. I fight daily, specially when the spirits are low and when I have a look in the mirror... and see what has become of me.. when miracles are bestowed upon you and good happens, the force of bad fights with it too... it's probably the balance of the universe I am not entirely sure, but I have learnt with the good forces also come the bad.. we need identify and filter it out. ..

 

But 3 months on, the shock doesn't get any lesser... 

but one thing does, instead of counting the scars, and seeing the burns I see the blessings .. I see them lessen I seem my hair growing out, and I see my strength coming back. Some days I go backwards, but my mother by my side, daily in spirit, my family, my friends that uplift me and a partner that is extremely tolerant, with God's grace I am getting there..

 

So, how do we say Thank you to the blessings we receive a thousand fold, when the world comes crashing down... We be grateful... we learn to give back the same blessings we get, and we share another's burden and we find it in our hearts to empathize more.. The hundreds of people that have come to my aid, when I lay helpless , burnt fighting for my life. . I will forever hold you up in my hearts with utmost gratitude and respect..

And I will pour out everything in me, of my talents, my time, my love and my compassion, my faith to say Thank you..I hope reading how far a distance this journey haa s brought me is encouragement for you to keep being the blessing you are. .

 

My experience has been nothing short of an amazing roller coaster ride, this is how I can describe it best. There are days I wake up in anticipation of the thrill and the beautiful view I might see at the top, the beautiful people I see and the beauty of nature... from the top of that ride, or the climb upto it,

but there are days that I am also faced with the fall from the top and the downward journey, but as scary as it maybe and I may scream sometimes, I can also lift my hands up in the air, in relief and happiness, knowing that a God that is faithful will stick by me, and the people sitting next to me, in this ride have stuck by me and put up with my journey so far... there's no looking back now, but forward... This journey I will share with you now, from the day I started off, and an example of the journey so far, the rapid recovery, a lady that has been with me on this journey from the moment I fell ill..my mother. .who sacrifices many a things for my happiness. .. a journey from where I was...

Thank you to all of you that follow this.  My aspiration is that it helps another. .

I am learning getting burnt is not so bad after all!  It clears out all the impurities makes way for a new beginning. .

so if you are going through the fire rise up and shine bright!